Happy Together
by shining-fortune
Summary: She had a life that seemed to go on and on in her dreams. Maybe what she thought was the reality was only in her head. And the reality went too far from her grasp a long time ago. Somewhere deep down, she knew that... but she wanted to be happy together.


Even when her body was destroyed, her mind remains. And her mind goes back to the happiest times. Of her and Shu. And even Triton with them. If she tries, she could even remember Haruka when she became her father's new wife. Good times... happy times... before she lost herself. Before she became unrecognizable to everyone including herself.

She remembers the white sands, and coming there every morning playing with Shu. Before Triton came along, it was always the two of them. And that was the only thing that was enough for her. Eve... yes, she was Eve. But she only wanted her Adam. She only wanted Shu. And that island was their Eden. Because it was their world that they lived, with only the two of them. And they were so happy, so very happy together.

But then Mana remembers the pretty rock she touched as a child.

All of these crystals - _virus_ - that grew on her skin, that she could manipulate thanks to those people from Daath, that she herself released in her madness - _rejection_ - and thus the first Lost Christmas was born. What difference does she being whole or just a memory make for her? What difference did it make that she was crystallized? Adam rejected Eve. Shu rejected Mana.

_Why did he do that? Doesn't he love me?_

**_It's because you lost yourself._**

_No! Nonononononononono!_

**_It's true._**

_Shut up! No, it's not true! I'm just-_

**_A monster._**

_NO._

No matter how much she thinks and no matter how much she shuts out, it's that same conversation that occurs in her mind. Monster... well maybe she is one now. But Mana would never admit that. Never. Her mind slinks back, becoming dormant. Asleep. And in her dreams, she goes back to that sandy beach when her brother loved - _knew_ - her. Mana. Not Eve. And it would all go in a loop for then next ten years. Sometimes it would stop and replay. One time, it stopped at her meeting Triton. Another, it stopped when Triton found her out. And another time, it stopped at Christmas Eve. It would stop at certain points leading up to her apocalypse, but it would always start back to Shu again.

And again.

And again.

_You and me. Me and you. Shu._

Sometimes though, she could see him through the eyes of another - _fake_ - person. Grown... and handsome. He looked like what her dad used to look like. Or something similar. Mana could barely remember his face now. But the fact of the matter was Shu... and how beautiful he was when she could catch a glimpse through another's eyes. And even Triton has grown too. And where was Mana while those two were growing?

The same.

No, that wasn't right... Mana was frozen. Or rather, Eve was frozen.

Dormant.

It wasn't until she saw Triton again that the cycle in her head breaks, but only for a moment. When it starts again, Mana was no more. At least, the Mana in her dreams. There was only Eve, and she was stirring. She would come out slowly but surely, trying to protect her Adam. At least... that was what Mana wanted. But in reality, Mana was long gone. Mana existed as a memory, and Eve... no... she wouldn't just be a forgotten memory. She would come out soon, and they'll be happy again...!

...if only she would take out that person that held her back!

_...fault..._

_...it's your... fault._

**_You know it's not hers._**

_You're nothing but a monster. You'll only hurt Shu at this rate._

**_Are you sure you're not talking about yourself?_**

_You've got no other choice, so switch with me._

**_You don't exist with him anymore._**

_We'll be happy._

**_Poor disillusioned girl._**

And that she was. Even as she grew stronger again, and was beginning to wake up. The illusion that she kept seeing in her mind, of her life at the beach, her Eden... she thought that she could recreate it. _You and me._ With Shu, she would have her happiness back. She could have her life again. Let Daath have their evolutions. Let them have their crystals and viruses. Let them have this ruined world. As long as Mana would have Shu, then she could have her life again. Triton can come, if he wanted. They could have some fun... like they used to. _Me and you... So happy together..._

...if only Shu wouldn't reject her again!

The disillusioned Eve could not understand why he kept doing that. She loved him. She always loved him. Even as a child, being her baby brother. Even when her body was torn to shreds, she still loved him. Even now, as she was rejected by him a second time, she still loved him. So why does he insist on inflicting this pain? She didn't know, but she did know that she would inflict the same pain on him in return.

**_...you won't do that._**

**_You love him too much._**

**_And you know he's right._**

**_You don't deserve it, you know._**

Even dancing the world away, or the sounds of clanging voids couldn't drown out that voice in the back of her head. That voice that has been with her ever since her body was destroyed the first time. And as she felt the world around her freeze, and felt her body be destroyed another time, she screamed. All of her pain, all of her unfulfilled dreams, and all that she's experienced in this cycle, were in that scream. It was at that time, for the first time in years, Mana woke up from her eternal dream.

They won't be happy together again.

They won't have those times at the beach, those times of telling stories or playing games together. They wouldn't live together again, and she couldn't watch over them again. Those dreams were just that. Dreams that would never come true. Shu was no longer- no... he was never hers. None of this was worth it... this ruined world was not her Eden. She had no one.

No, that wasn't right. She had Triton.

She always had Triton, it seemed.

So she won't be alone in her dreams again? Will she finally have her peace and sleep? Will she have her Eden? She couldn't barely see this future behind her tears. For a long time, Mana Ouma could barely see anything anymore. She could only see disillusions and dreams. She could only see what she wanted to be real.

And now, wrapped in Triton's arms as they began to fade, she couldn't even see Shu anymore. Mana could only see darkness.

And such darkness had never felt so real... or so peaceful.


End file.
